From a very early age, almost every woman has a picture of an ideal lover and husband. Over the years, these representations may become more pragmatic. For example, she gradually begins to understand that the light is very beautiful little prince. Or will appreciate other qualities such as honesty, kindness, integrity of character.
Some women never manage to come to terms with the reality that men are not always beautiful, rich and subtle.
Thirty Gina, a housewife from Arizona, told me: "I come to despair of Marty. I always like to see a man led me to restaurants ... bronzed, beautiful and in a white tuxedo. Yes, Marty handsome, bronzed, and there is even a white tuxedo. But when he leads me into the restaurant, I was inhibits its lack of imagination. He recognizes the steak, chicken, ribs, and that's all. He knows only two sorts of wine - red and white. Prefers beer.
I tried to give him a taste for more sophisticated food, but he always said that food is food, he knows that love. Why try to do something that he was not sure. I remember we went to the cocktail party to our friends. There he tasted the dumpling oysters. Nip again, Marty has spoken very loudly: “My God, Gina, I think in my bun someone murrain”.
Gina loved Marty and even after seven years of marriage she is still physically leads to it. But even in his bed resist any idea sometimes leads her to despair. "He's very gentle and tender lover. But I have seen movies in which men prevent women from clothing and work with them where they just love and wishes, in all imaginable and unimaginable positions.
But Marty for anything not decided on that. I think, still a boy, he read in books that the decent man must take a shower, trim nails, shave, clean teeth and put on clean pajamas at night. Then - and only then - he was ready to lie down in bed with a woman.
It is very clear, to his credit, and he was very gentle with me is love, not just sleep.
But I dream about sweaty, overgrown hair a man who rush into the house, rip off my clothes and throw me to the floor. Kissing, he stream me stinking breath, he turns and bites my nipples. Then a stranger missing me by the hair and shoves your big and trickling "cook" in my mouth. I just did not choking. After he fucks me this style, it turns my stomach, and continues to fuck, but already in the vagina. Finally, he again puts me on the back and the pain shoots across the face at the end of his visit”.
Sexual fantasy Gina it might seem at first glance masochistic - a classic example of the subordination of the victim. But in reality, the strong, persistent fantasy is about how Gina is an urgent need to show courage on the part of Marty. Do not feel embarrassed of their erotic fantasies and to perceive them as dirty, day dreams, and they should not be considered proof of sexual weakness and perverted view of sex.
Erotic fantasy is only of your sexual needs. From the force requirements are the implementation of fantasies in real life. Do you want to try sex with two partners at once? Or with a man and a woman? Or maybe you want to pose to the audience naked. On all these questions you can answer only to themselves. But I warn: fantasy brought to life, can not meet your expectations.
In support of this story will bring 27 years - Sylvia, the school teacher from Los Angeles, which over those years was as the senior closed her school and violated over it.
"I believe that my subconscious responds well to their treatment of me during the day six or seven of them were beautiful, slim, coolly. Each time they passed by, I heard how some of these guys clapped in the hands and cry: "woof!" All the other starting bark like dogs leash.
I constantly had the fantasy that one evening I closed the school. Distributed noise. The next moment the double doors opened, and nine or ten boys broke and grabbed me. I shouted, but they push me gag in his mouth and dragged me to the gym. I kick, tried to escape, but they were too much, besides, I was strangely brought frightened. This was not the fear of hurt, fear to do something dirty and forbidden, and the sensual excitement of what I do not control the situation.
I think in some sense, this is a kind of masochism - a prisoner without ropes and handcuffs. This is also your ideas about sex without a moral responsibility for everything that happens in your head - in the end, you're only a victim, is not it? You are the innocent victim, to resist, until they perceived punks embrace you, they both want to rape a teacher who taught the entire day of their lives.
I must admit, excites me, when a man shows his power somewhat raw, and refers to me as a prostitute. I do not know whether you call it masochism or not. Personally I believe that every woman has a share of masochism, which is simply a part of her sexuality. But be a little masochist not the same as that to be a weak, resigned, to allow the man to break you completely.
There are many men who go to prostitutes and allow them to bind themselves, beat whip, is not it? Among them are frequently businessmen, who have complete control over everything that they do in life. "
Sylvia is very sensible relates to their sexual fantasies. They are in no way mean that the teacher wants her really raped by six or seven most beautiful young people in the class. This is an honest recognition that the Sylvia believes his seniors are sexually attractive. Exactly the same way, many male teachers are brought in the form of mature girls in their classes.
At the end of the age-sex restrictions that society has established, in fact, totally false. They express our societal view that the young and innocent beings should not be used by senior sexual purposes.
In Sylvia never had intimate proximity with young people at school, where she teaches, she had not even thought about it. But no school rules did not prohibit her dream, provided that it does not change the sense of proportion and she will be remembered that a member of teaching staff, with the consequent responsibility to the students.
None of us should be ashamed of their sexual fantasies, no matter how violent they are. Sexual fantasies - a way to bring themselves - a kind of mental masturbation. In addition, they help determine what excites you. If you let your thoughts wander freely on the perceived sexual situations, then, to his surprise, can learn a lot about myself curious.
Ally, 27 years – hairdresser of Indianapolis, in his recurring fantasies compares himself with Miss Nude America. "I represent a totally naked, went on stage in the light of projectors, the high-heeled shoes. I have beautiful hair, impeccable makeup, manicure, full body light tan covers ... and I am standing on stage naked in front of numerous cameras exclamations of the spectators. This is so excitative acts. "
Decided to Ally for such a step would in real life?
"Absolutely not ... I am very shy. Nor to whom I could not appear unclothed. In addition to her husband. But fantasy brought me the idea to appear before him in this way - you know what I mean. I open the door to her husband when he returns home, totally naked, nude spend all morning preparing his breakfast. He was like that, it kind of excites me, and I can be proud of. "
But 30 years - Jane, estate agent from Minneapolis, was his meeting with a stranger, which is sex, not exchanging a word, like Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider in "Last Tango in Paris". She told her lover Paul about his fantasies, and he immediately invited to visit a number of empty houses for sale, and deal with it is love.
"The proposal was successful. Paul went into the rage, disguise and changed appearance. Sometimes we laugh and we have attacked is not able to stop.
But then Paul locked the door and led me up in somebody's bedroom, stripped me, and fuck, not to mention a word. Sometimes the alleged buyers thump on the door, but he continued his business, not paying attention. I can not explain how exciting, scary and sensual our sex was. "
23 years old - programmer Michelle was, as it is tied to the bed, close my eyes and bandage two or three men engaged in sex with her. It used its imagination to revive the real sex life. She asked her lover to engage the eye and make it all that comes to him in the head. One result was 20 minutes "totally", during which the inventive lover massage her breasts, fingers stimulated clitoris and vagina, and brought her two orgasm ... three ... Four ... I can barely remember. One orgasm succeeds another. He stopped when I could no longer make it and start screaming!
But it is not always necessary or desirable to enforce their erotic fantasies. Your partner may find this too shocking sexual desire, yes and you suddenly discover that imagination, incite you can have the opposite effect on the partner, when you try to do everything in real life.
As an example, the story Nen - 30 housewife from Seattle "Some years it seems to me as a man puts me in a knee and begins to slap my hairbrush. It seemed to me that the itch will be poignantly and sexually. I imagine all this, and worked masturbation: Turley breech brush, comb the hair with the power to pubis, and sometimes even shove the brush handle into her vagina. I told myself that I am a bad girl and I need to paddle. I bring him to orgasm, just thinking about it.
But three years ago I met through a dating bureau with one gentleman. We had a lot in common - music addiction, love of humor, favorite food. We like the Chinese restaurants. Its name was Max, he was tall, athletic adding, with grayish hair. He does not distinguish singular beauty, but was very caress.
We began a novel, and all went well, but lacked the fire in our sexual relationships. One day he invited me to a restaurant dinner and put on a new, very expensive blazer. Then he brought me to his home. I started to undress, he, too, but instead of kissing me, and to engage in other pleasant nonsense, he gently put his new blazer, whisk brushed the dust, check whether all the buttons in place and whether all shine. I get into a wax.
- More than you care about your lousy jacket than I do!
- Not at all, - he answered.
- I spit on him, too! - "I said with anger, and to prove the rightness of his words, pour on the blazer a glass of red wine.
Now he becomes furious. I threw him a challenge. "If you're so angry, why should you not paddle me" And, of God, he did. Max rakes me, put the belly on the knee, panties and began to tear flap. It was painful. I can not pass, it was painful. You can tell all the women who come to mind such as fantasies of spanking, as it is painful. Would you look what he did to my buttocks? They were bright red, they left fingerprints.
On that day we will all be engaged in love, it was even better than usual, but only because he slap me. Lying then join him on the bed at dusk, I realized that our relationship came to an end. Sexual fantasies of spanking, whip excite, but if you try to apply all of this in practice, then, in my opinion, you need to get closer to its relations with a partner, maybe you have not all is well, you do not agree with me? "
Of course, Nen has raised a very important issue of pain and pleasure. There are many people who like an element of pain and punishment for sexual relations. Some without this can not reach orgasm.
Sylvia quite rightly pointed out that many people are looking for high-power services of prostitutes. They can get sexual satisfaction if they privyazhut will offend, treated as helpless children.
Several years ago I was in friendly relations with Monique von Kleef known Dutch prostitute. She showed me his "torture chamber" in the Hague, which regularly visits the judges, senior police officials, prominent businessmen and generous pay her for sexual insult. Monique services can be attributed to the extremes. But we should not lose sight of that.
Are we trying to bring to life our erotic fantasies, or not, they are an expression of our perception of ourselves and our role in life, but also indicate that we are waiting for a sexual relationship.
The following list of questions will help you assess their sexual needs. Ask yourself these questions, and then on a separate sheet of paper write the answers. You may be surprised to sexual portrait and the extent to which you are entrepreneurial in sex.
1. What is the hallmark of your sexual fantasies:
a) sex with her partner;
b) sex with a male friend with whom you have not had intimate relations;
b) sex with two or three men;
g), sex with many men.
2. You made sexual fantasies:
a) alone;
b) in the society outside;
c) in the busy society.
3. Your sexual fantasies:
a) You act as ourselves;
b) you figure themselves, but with slight modifications;
c) you have changed the face;
d) you are a spectator, not participant.
4. In the erotic fantasy you usually:
a) a luxuriously dressed;
b) in a mini-skirt and open topic;
c) in erotic lingerie - stocking feet on the belt;
g) in a romantic silk dress;
d) naked.
5. Men in your fantasy:
a) passive;
b) the kind and gentle;
c) a romantic and courtly;
g) lustful;
d) gross and insatiable.
6. Men in your fantasy:
a) clean and well-groomed;
b) dirty and gross.
7. Based on the rules of your real life, sex in your fantasy:
a) normal;
b) unusual;
c) warped.
8. What is the main theme of your sexual fantasies:
a) the mere coupling;
b) fellation;
c) group sex (a few men and one woman);
d) Group sex (more women and one man);
d) linking (you connect);
e) linking (you connect);
f) Wet Sex (erotic game with urination);
h) anal sex.
9. How often do you visit the erotic fantasies:
a) daily;
b) once or twice a week;
c) once or twice a month;
g) once or twice in a year.
10. You tell your lover about your favorite sexual fantasies:
a) course;
b) will depend upon the lover;
c) may think;
d) never.
11. Do you want to translate their imagination into action:
a) yes, details;
b) in part;
c) no.
At the end of your list, write one of your sexual fantasies, you have none to share, and watch what you say about it in the light of day.
Erotic fantasy can help us determine that we are a sexually: we humble or powerful person, and what our sexual preferences.
For a single woman understanding erotic fantasies, it is very important. They will help her to develop his or her attitude to men, he meets and what she wants them to get in their sexual lives. They can also help to improve their sexual criteria.
If a woman is always dominant in their fantasies - if it stirs up a man as a sexual slave - then I advise her to think twice before you engage in intimate relations with a powerful partner. The result may be more disastrous than a clash of personalities. The man, who likes to prevail in sex, can be brought into a rage a woman who likes to wear herself in the bedroom.
Erotic fantasy is no worse than your dreams to become famous or rich. Perhaps the only difference is that you can learn from them something useful and use them in real life. They are a manifestation of an imaginary passions and desires, hidden in man.
Before we proceed to the physical and emotional status as single women, let's look at some of the causes of loneliness. A woman who has too much waiting - Jane, aged 35, a waitress from Pittsburgh:
"I always wanted to marry a man like John Travolta, funny, beautiful, caring, natural and wonderful dancer, a little bungler. I made two suggestions. One - the owner of the rental car, a beautiful, but without a sense of humor. Other - Mr. dealing with something mysterious in the field of travel insurance. It was amusing, but embarrassing. Always flush. When my love has always been gentle and romantic. I liked him. But I dream of something better. I meet with men, and if they like me, you engaged in sex with them. But in most cases, I go back home and watch TV. "
A woman with a small request - Jerry Lee, 40 years old, from Houston:
"I grew up in a family, where I had another six daughters. And all of us accustomed to the fact that in future we prepared the fate of our Mom. When I was 21 years, I along with friends went on a picnic. The whole evening I was not moving away from a very attractive young man. I gave him the address, and the next day he drove me to the new white mustang”.
He was the son of a major official. My boyfriend refers to me as a princess. We went to dances. He brought me to his home, and we make love in the room with mirrored ceiling. I watched the scene in the mirror. Never forget those moments. Once he put me on his knees in the back seat and took my car. I was so good that I burst into tears. The tears flowed on the cheeks and fell on the white leather upholstery. I knew that all this is not for me, that I am unworthy of such a beau. Perhaps it seemed to me that all this is happening to me in a dream. Perhaps I did not want to play a passive role in our relationship - he has all the solutions. For all paid. I decided to stop our acquaintance before he would do so in order to extricate from the suffering to be abandoned ... but sometimes I ask myself, what if he had not left me".
A woman who is afraid to be bound by obligations - Kathleen, 32, a photographer from Seattle: "I am very sexual and I like men. Over the life I had eight or nine novels and one Platonic. I like men to touch, photograph them. I have a book, which contains black-and-white photos of penis at rest; slightly revive, in full combat readiness. The book has not yet been published. I like waking up every morning and see in the bed next to a man. But for some reason I was scared of marriage. I am afraid that he tramples my identity and leaves me empty-handed. I think we were wrong to bring up. We are not accustomed to understand each other”.
Women who are afraid of sexually relax - Iris, 23, a teacher from San Luis: "My mother told me about sex is that it usually importunes men and that it brings suffering. All stories that are told in school are no better. I have always had a negative attitude towards sex. It seemed that the other leading sexuality and me she was not interested. In high school I had a bad case. One guy tried to rape me. He was not attacked me, but tried to kiss, enough for the chest, I screamed and pushed him with force. After that I called "the block of ice Iris," which did not improve my attitude to sex. I had lesbian us, although I am not a lesbian. I met a woman named Carol, when she studied in college. I think we both feel lonely. Six or seven times we were close, if it can be called proximity. She liked to fondle my breasts, playing with the clitoris, and kissed her vagina. I can not say that her love I did not like. She returned my confidence in my sexual attractiveness. The trouble is that I am not able to give her the same marks of attention. It was a good and not causes me physical revulsion. But I have nothing to do with them. And I'm not surprised, when after some time it blew up at me. Our relationship stop after three months. Then I met with Terry, the good and chugkpm man. But when he wanted to transcend the borders of friendship I have said that between us all over. I do not know why the sex leads me to the horror. I constantly think about it. I am so lonely. It seems to me that I have until the end of days and will live without the love and affection".
Female, divorced, and to part with their lovers - Moira, 36, Newark, New Jersey:
"The nine years I was married to Ted, and felt that I had a good marriage. We have two children. When Ted announced that loves another woman, it sounded to me like a bolt from the blue. In the past two years our sex life did not differ special passion. But I believe that this is due to our load. I raised two children and worked part-time and had Ted work hard. It seemed to me that we lay the foundations of a happy and prosperous future. But a week later Ted left, destroying all confidence in me in my sexual attractiveness. But this was only the tip of the iceberg. Eventually, I took their hands in and said that in 35 years I am still young and attractive and almost believed his words. But I had to find a man who would agree with me. I thought I was faced with a terrible social disease. I am all turned. Almost no one has invited me to parties or dinners. And if all of a sudden I received an invitation, for I had logged some lord twice over me, and with rotten teeth. Although my sex life with Ted was not riding perfect but I am lacking male affection and attention. One evening I even seriously thought about working in massage salon, just to feel again, as masculine hands embrace me. Previously, I envied divorced, because they have so much free time and they can do that will. But now I was ready to change their freedom to a gentle kiss".
You will be pleased to learn that Moira, after all, found a new partner in the magazine ad. She is re-married and happy now.
Many single women manage to cope with setbacks in their sexual lives. Silver journalist told me that to part with the lover, she wrote a lot. It was the most fruitful period of her life.
Other single women are able to do without men for quite a long time, not feeling that disbelief in their sexual abilities. 37 years - Naomi from San Francisco says:
"I like the society of men, but I feel better when I have no intimate connection. I remain it, seem cleaner and easier to imagine, much quieter and more efficient. When I have a lover I always worry its ups and downs, not only emotionally but also physically. Sex brings joy, but he also drives me into depression. At the moment I prefer a quiet, quiet life".
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